What are pet names good for?
Anyone who has been in a serious relationship knows how simple things can become so difficult. You get into a new relationship, and everything is moving along smoothly, then you get to that time when you need to find the perfect nickname for your special one, and suddenly, everything feels so difficult. It is not that you don’t have good nicknames in mind, but you’re worried these nicknames do not capture your partner’s personality or the feelings you have for him/her.
Plenty of my friends have developed nicknames with their romantic partners. Nicknames come in all shapes and forms, but the pet names that you call the love of your life are always stay for years. Couples nicknames are kinda silly, but for lovers and romantic partners, “kinda silly” is what they do. I have seen a few relationships where cutesy, affectionate nicknames emerged as inside jokes. Later on, these names stuck!
There seem to be a variety of languages with pet names too:
- The French say “Mon Petit Chou” (my little cabbage)
- Yhe Russians say “Vishenka” (cherry)
- The Dutch call girlfriends “Dropje” (candy)
- Brazil you can say “Meu Chuchu,” where “chuchu” is a vegetable. In Spain I heard the term “Media Naranja,” meaning half-orange, suggesting that the romantic partners are two halves of the whole.
- “Chang Noi” (little elephant)
- In Thai, “Ghazal” (gazelle) in Arabic.
According to Carol J. Bruess, a relationship is a “mini-culture” unto itself, reinforced by rituals such as nicknames and other private language. The terms of endearment are important when conflicts arise, she says, allowing a natural recourse to humor and playfulness when things get rough.
I think that’s how nicknames evolve. We name things, we give things symbols, and over time we tend to naturally manipulate those symbols toward a certain outcome
Carol J. Bruess
Rather than these private words and phrases dying off over time, Bruess thinks that they become so ingrained in a relationship that long-term married couples may stop recognizing them as special. It is part of the fabric of their relationship; It is taken for granted.
What is normal?
Personally, i feel pet names are important as shorthand for admiration and affection. Especially for those who feel they do not get enough affection, using pet names makes up a lot. It may be easier for someone to say ‘Hey babe, you look great’ than ‘I love you.’
Sex expert Ian Kerner, author of the “Good in bed” series of guidebooks, agrees that the use of pet names is “a great thing” as long as both partners are comfortable with the names. Names like honey, baby, babe, sweetheart (etc.) connote a special intimacy that is reserved for your significant other. Most couples tell if something is wrong in the relationship when a partner actually calls them by their actual name and not their nickname.
Here is another can of wordy worms that pet names open: issues of gender and power. Women may often take on the names of tasty objects (such as “Muffin”) while men assume more macho monikers (such as “Big Daddy Rabbit”), Bruess said. Even calling someone “baby” can suggest that the person is inferior to you.
Self task
Whether they sound to others like gibberish or the names of Muppets, it does not matter. I will embrace the nicknames given to me as long as they hold positive meaning, and I will invoke boyfriend-pet-names to reinforce emotional connection, make questions sound sweeter and break the ice when things are tense. When there is nothing left to say, at least there is that. Still, it is important we never judge a couple based on their pet names, which emerge and exist in their own unique relationship. It is like looking at a culture from the outside.
Side attraction; using pet names too soon
During my research, I got to understand that the way to tell that a man is losing interest in you is he will start to give you “pet names” during early dating or while in a new relationship (marriage not included). Pet names are nicknames of endearment, that in this case, some men are taking advantage of using. While it may seem cute to be called “babe” or “honey” earlier on, this can also be a sign of neediness and falling way too quickly. And we know that falling way too quickly is a synonym of Lust. How true is this? Drop your responses in the comment section with your experiences if possible.
This blog is not complete yet. There are a lot of research to be done and a lot of mysteries to be unravelled. Stay updated with Melsadaily.
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